The Twists and Turns of an Ankle and the Internet

We've mentioned both on the “Comedifans” podcast and in a previous blog post, “Try to Catch Me Ridin' Dirty”, that I've been called a dirty player when playing sports. This is still a debate, but I certainly do give 100% effort whenever I'm playing any sport.

Golak and I are currently in a kickball league. Kickball has a lot of the fundamentals of baseball, and I never actually played baseball when growing up. So, for example, while I play center field, I know how to catch the kickball. But, if the ball gets hit over the head of the left fielder, I have no idea what exactly I should do at that point and where to run to in order to help him out. So, while I understand the rules of the game, the strategy involved in it can be a problem for me.

This issue goes for base running as well. In my brain, all I think about is running as fast as I can and beating out any throw that could get me out. This works fine with first base, but with any other base, I have consistently been running past the base because I cannot slide or slow down properly.

This problem came to haunt me on Wednesday night, when I overran second base, went to turn back, and twisted my ankle. At the time, it was not fun for me. However, for everyone else, it had to be hilarious. First, you see a guy overrun a base. Then, you see him twist his ankle. Then, you see him shout profanity. Then, you see him just fall to the ground. Then, you see the girl on second base throw the kickball at his lifeless body. I was able to get up and walk off the field, and I played the remainder of the game still hobbling from the ankle twist.

Strangely enough, in all my years of playing sports or doing any type of activities, I have never injured myself. I was hoping to keep this streak going until the age of 30, but I suppose this was bound to happen. With the number of half marathons that I've done and my reckless nature in any sport, something was going to go wrong.

Since I had no idea of how to really deal with an ankle injury, I of course went to the Internet to find answers on how to deal with it. Sometimes, I am in awe of the Internet, and have no sense of what we did before it. If I suffered this injury in 1992 (which is probably when I should have suffered any kickball-related injury. Why am I a grown adult playing kickball?), what would I have done? Call up a friend who had an ankle injury before? Directly go to the emergency room?

That last question actually led into one of my interesting finds from the Internet, which was this article revealing that too many people go to emergency rooms for minor ankle injuries. I knew in this situation that there was no need to go to the emergency room. I could walk on the ankle, and I could endure the pain. My definition of “emergency” is pretty intense. I would need violent amounts of blood for me to actually take the steps to go to the emergency room, which makes sense considering I'm a “dirty player” who overruns bases.

We all know that the Internet can be insane, too. WebMD ends up giving you diseases you never thought were possible. In this case, WebMD suggested crutches or a walker and to not walk on the ankle for 24-48 hours. What? I'm not going to take a day off work for a non-severe ankle injury. What single man in his 20s has a walker just sitting around for his use when he gets an ankle injury?

I followed the instructions that seemed reasonable. I laid down in bed and iced my knee. I'm also not a person that has a lot of aspirin around. I don't really get headaches or feel that I need pain relievers for any circumstances. So, I had to take a look through my medicine cabinets and found a bottle of Aleve with an expiration date of January 2012. This discovery led into reading this article on drug expiration dates. Feeling that it was okay, I used the expired Aleve and have yet to die from the effects of the ankle injury.

I wondered if it was possible that it could be a severe ankle injury, and I just didn't know it. I learned more about high ankle sprains. In an attempt to see what a high ankle sprain looked like, I went to the Google Images section. It contained some photos of ankles, but also many photos of New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski. It didn't make much sense, and then I realized that a high ankle sprain was responsible for his limited play in this past year's Super Bowl. There was even this nice Rob Gronkowski photo.

As time has passed, the ankle seems to be healing fine. It is swollen and bruised, and I perhaps will not be able to play in the next kickball game, but at least thanks to the Internet, I didn't spend too much time being concerned or paranoid despite the journey that the World Wide Web took me on.

I hope to be injury-free again for another two-plus decades of my life. However, I will always have a fear my next injury will be like this one...