Happy Diwali! (Hindu Pyromaniacs Rejoice!)

Happy Diwali! Or, in my case, Happy I'm Going to Have to Explain to You What This Is Unless You Have The Basic Knowledge of It from That Episode of “The Office!” It happens every year. Diwali, the festival of lights, is the biggest holiday for Hindus and a number of other South Asian religions.

Throughout my life, people have asked me, “What is Diwali?” After struggling through forgetting which gods were actually involved only to realize there are a number of different stories/reasons behind the holiday of which I know none of them well enough, I just give up and say, “It's like Christmas, but for us.” This is probably the equivalent of providing the answer, “Look it up on Wikipedia” or “Please leave me alone.”

I have a number of jokes in my act about Hinduism in large part because I grew up around parents who are devout and because I think that the subject is territory that hadn't predominantly been touched upon by many comics including Indian comics. With that topic comes the same burden that has plagued me since I was a kid: educating people about Hinduism.

Here's my definition of Diwali as a kid: my parents sang a religious hymn while I got to hit a spoon against a bowl in rhythm, my Mom made a lot of great Indian food, we prayed, my Dad handed me an envelope with money in it, then we ate. I now understand why I continue to care about Hinduism. It was a wonderful form of religious brainwashing. I got paid to be Ringo Starr and Adam Richman in the same day.

The sad fact is that not a lot has changed in that definition since I was a kid. I still value my faith but turn to it for its philosophy in such texts as “The Bhagavad Gita” and “Upanishads” and for occasional visits to the temple for my own self-purity and relaxation. When it comes to actually gathering the history and explaining it to people, well, it's a learning experience even for me. Some of the jokes that I've gathered over the past 4 ½ years of doing comedy have come from conversations I've had with my parents about Hinduism or discovering things about my faith through reading. I can feel bad about it, but the reality is I have thousands of years of texts and stories to understand to get a full idea of anything. And, frankly, the Indian names and gods can sometimes be as tough to remember for me as they would be on any non-Hindus (how fast can you say Dhritarashtra?). But, I'll keep on learning and joking around about it in the hope of allowing people to learn as well.

In writing this blog post and doing the necessary research, I now have a full idea of what Diwali is. Diwali is the Hindu celebration of the birth of Christ. Hindu calendars are different, and his birthday changes every year dependent upon when the full moon occurs, which is the peak time of his birth and his morphing into a werewolf.

Note: if you're in Columbus, please join me tonight as I celebrate Diwali by telling jokes at “Comedy Under the Influence” at Zeno's (384 W. 3^rd Ave. in Victorian Village). Show starts at 9:30 PM and features other great area stand-up comics Justin Golak, Travis Hoewischer, Travis Irvine, Laura Sanders, and Dan Swartwout!