With ComFest coming up, I recently started thinking about the event in general. I titled this list things that "should" be at ComFest to be purposefully ambiguous. Because the things on this list are not just my straight opinions, they are a varying combination of things a) I personally would like to see at ComFest, b) I can't believe aren't already at ComFest/I see them coming in some form in the future, and/or c) I think would help the event or just add new elements to it.
1) BYOB License
Over the last couple years specifically, there has been a real crackdown on BYOB. In some part for safety concerns but mostly to keep needed moneys flowing into the event via beer sales. I am mixed about the beer sales at ComFest, but I mostly except them as completely necessary. While overpriced beer, and the inconvenient money-to-token-to-beer-festival-money-double-buy bullshit system that goes along with it, is a festival staple, the free-love, fun-time aspect of the this particular festival always made it seem out of place. But I understand. It always makes me think of that scene in "Harold & Kumar" when Kumar is trying to buy weed off the shrimpy, stoner kid and, realizing the supply & demand situation, the kid grossly overcharges him. When Kumar gets mad and says that he thought the kid was "a hippie," the kid responds, "I'm a business hippie." That's ComFest. And I'm fine with that. Money keeps the festival alive, so one mug for me please.
However, it brings to my mind a secondary business strategy that could be used based on a business from back around where I'm from in Cleveland. A local, family run Drive-In Theatre around where I grew up was struggling to stay in business and keep a (unfortunately) dying business alive for future generations of both patrons and business owners. With the price of movie rights going up, more money needed to come in and they didn't want to raise ticket prices. Concessions were a big part of where they made it into the black. But anyone who knows drive-ins, knows you bring your own snacks. Well, this drive-in said, no snacks, you're good--bring your own snacks, $10 outside food license. Again, at first, seems imposing. But you realize in the end, it's still a good deal if you choose to take it and it's a way you can get what you want without bleeding the thing you want dry to get it. Why not just pay x amount of dollars, get a personal beer bringers license, and then you get to walk around with a 6-pack of tallboys clipped to your belt like cousin Eddie from "Vegas Vacation." Seems like a win-win.
2) Corporate Boobs
This is primarily filed under the things I don't necessarily want, I'm just surprised it hasn't happened yet.
Now, I'll be honest upfront so when I claim non-dirtbagness, you'll believe me. I like breasts. If they're there, I will look...and usually enjoy. Not for a creepy length. But boobs. Me = Fan.
But I never understood guys who "go to ComFest for the boobs." Dude, ComFest has so much other cool shit. If you want tits, go to a strip club, or better yet, de-creepify slightly and get a fucking girlfriend.
However, ComFest is known for this. Columbus allows women to be topless in public. It's a well known little nugget, and the celebration of it at ComFest is probably more well known.
I just can't believe that no business, especially with such a douchey Arena District adjacent to the good vibes festivities, has sent topless girls down to Goodale Park. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that I can't believe the skeezies over at Jager who send girls out to bars in tight little black outfits every weekend haven't thought about going slightly further up (or, I guess down) the objectifying ladder and just sent topless girls to a stage to hand out beads and key chain bottle openers.
3) Sports
I love sports. Why not at ComFest? I'm from Cleveland, and while having teams (even horrible ones) in 3 of the 4 major leagues is a really underrated awesome thing (and something Columbus has been craving for years), what you do have in C-Bus is a great gaggle of small, really cool leagues.
I've been to many Ohio Roller Girl events while living here, and they are awesome. Why not have them run a few meets over on the tennis courts...or even on a fucking stage. It'd be amazing. Did you know Columbus has a team in a female football league? They do. The Comets. Why don't you fence off a little area and have them run a little 30-minute scrimmage on a 40-yard field. Anything really. Have the OSU Football team play a flag football game and charge a few buck for a meet and greet afterwards with the money going to charity. (Double bonus would be that they NEED the good PR at this point).
I just think sports, while not art, is entertainment, and probably the next in line (if not before for some people) after the stuff already gracing the stage at this place. And, if you want local, nothing outside of artists really cements community pride and unity outside of a sports team everyone can root for. Especially, like noted, when you have such unique local athletes in your area.
4) Weed Tent
Just like boobs. You know it'll be there. But, it's really not supposed to be, and they'll make that (although with tongue seemingly firmly against cheek) clear when festival runners warn that security will be on the lookout for people using and issue citations.
I feel bad. I might get one funnel cake. But not 3. Potheads not only fund the festival that way, but, even as someone who has been drunk but not high at any ComFest I've attended, feel that the stoners really give the Festival the free, fun atmosphere it really needs to standout and feel different and cool.
Why not have one tent, where you go into, and that's okay. No more hiding behind bushes or holding up the Port-a-Potty lines. It's like the international waters of weed. Haven't our buzzed up brethren earned at least that? Hell, attach it to the first idea, charge $5 to get in, and put that towards next year.
Business hippies.
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