What's Up Columbus with Justin Golak - May Edition Highlights Part 2 of 3

This coming Thursday, June 2nd, at 10PM at Kafe Kerouac is the June Edition of "What's Up Columbus with Justin Golak", Columbus' only late night talk show style show.

In the next three days leading up to it, I will post some highlights from last month's show right here on SAGAttack.

Also, please don't forget to vote for the intro music for the June Edition HERE. Voting closes Wednesday at 11:59PM and the winner will be revealed LIVE on Thursday at the show! Don't miss your chance to make a mark on this month's festivities.

Today's clips is the second part of my Monologue from last month's show.

What's Up Columbus with Justin Golak - May Edition Highlights Part 1 of 3

This coming Thursday, June 2nd, at 10PM at Kafe Kerouac is the June Edition of "What's Up Columbus with Justin Golak", Columbus' only late night talk show style show.

In the next three days leading up to it, I will post some highlights from last month's show right here on SAGAttack.

Also, please don't forget to vote for the intro music for the June Edition HERE. Voting closes Wednesday at 11:59PM and the winner will be revealed LIVE on Thursday at the show! Don't miss your chance to make a mark on this month's festivities.

Today's clips is the first part of my Monologue from last month's show.

Drink Up! Comedy Down!

“Drink up! It makes the show funnier!” If you've been to enough comedy shows, you've probably heard this phrase used by a comic, but I think it's one of the worst ways to reach out to an audience.

The phrase normally gets said by the host of a show or a comic randomly during an open mic/showcase. It's likely that the crowd is not laughing or tight in general, and it's an easy way to try to get them pepped up. But, in reality, the statement is only offensive to comedy. To me, it's basically saying that the comedy you'll see tonight is insufficient and the only way it could possibly get better is if you alter your mind. I can understand where it comes from. When you're having a rough set, what do you do? To me, it's a quick out and there are other better ways to gauge and potentially excite the audience. Or, just truck through your set—sometimes a crowd is just not a fan of what you do and maybe the comic after you will fare better. Or, perhaps this crowd is just terrible, and any use of the phrase “Drink up!” should be directed towards the other comics.

The only way in which this phrase is acceptable is that it potentially brings business to the club/bar. If people drink more, the club gets more money, doesn't go out of business, and we can keep telling jokes here, which is awesome. However, there are so many better ways of approaching the business aspects on stage without sacrificing what you're saying about the quality of the show.

The statement also provides for some twisted logic. The comic is encouraging an audience to drink, which if they choose to do heavily, only increases the odds that a crowd member will yell out during well-timed jokes, talk during the show, and/or be obnoxious enough to get kicked out of the club. What a fun night of comedy for everyone involved.

My main point is that I've done comedy long enough to hear this “Drink up!” statement too many times out of comic's mouths on stage and it's only disrespecting our craft, giving the wrong perception to audiences of what is the appropriate way to engage in and act at a show (it's surprising how many don't know how to already), and has become a simple out for a comic when he/she might be bombing up there, which if you're a strong enough comic, you can accept that it just happens sometimes. Comics can figure out a better line onstage to try to make a crowd happy.

What's Up Columbus - June Intro Music

I'm starting to bring things together for the June edition of "What's Up Columbus with Justin Golak", the monthly late night talk show style show I do on the first Thursday of every month at Kafe Kerouac at 10PM. RSVP on Facebook. (Check out the audio for May HERE.)

I only need help with one thing...the intro music I'll come out to to start the show. And for that help, I turn to you!

I decided that each month I'll choose a category, choose 4 options, and then let you, the SAGA and WUC audience, select the song that starts off the show.

Now maybe it's just me (which if you know me, is possible), but when I think entrance music, I can't help but think, Wrestling. So, that will be the theme for June.

The four choices, along with clips, are listed below. Please take a look and then vote in the poll at the bottom. Thanks!

John Cena - My Time Is Now

HBK - Sexy Boy

DX - Degeneration X

Stone Cold Steve Austin - Glass Shatters

VOTING CLOSED

A Year Later: Me, LeBron, and the NBA

One year ago today, the Boston Celtics defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, thus ending the LeBron James era in Cleveland.

As a sports fan, you have memories of certain games. You probably don't remember the finer points of the game, but you remember the big things, and you remember where you were and how you felt. I was at Ringside Cafe in downtown Columbus for an open mic. I watched the end of the game, remembering the Celtics fans in that Game 6 crowd shouting “New York Knicks! New York Knicks!” and then Mo Williams just walking the ball up the court in total defeat. I felt like I got sucker punched in the stomach as a fan, but more so, with the usual Cleveland depression, I had the sinking knowledge that James was leaving us. I remember just having such a defeated, sarcastic mindset while sharing commentary of those last few minutes with fellow comedian Dan Wilburn (side note: Dan Wilburn is one of those rare gems of a sports fan – a guy who I can't tell you who his teams are at all nor am I aware of what team he is rooting for in a game we are watching though he has a strong interest in what's going on in the game. All I can say is that if Brett Favre played for the Cleveland Cavaliers, he would have been cheering for them).

What transpired with “The Decision” isn't worth discussing at this point. It's been beaten to death, and I can say that my perspectives are in line with most Cleveland fans and sports pundits as to how it went down.

But, looking back on it now, my fan relationship with LeBron James is just as I expected it would be after he announced he was going to Miami. It's been a textbook bad break-up for me. There was anger and disgust in the beginning, acceptance, and then ultimately a total separation and general lack of care for the guy. That's where we're at now. We've moved on, and in a way, are leading completely different player to fan lives. I wish nothing negative upon him other than that he not achieve basketball success. Finding out his mom got arrested wasn't some type of jubilant moment but more of something I could chuckle at momentarily then not care about it anyway. He's not my guy anymore. I don't care what he does.

In that way, LeBron for me somehow this season was quietly the best player in basketball. What I mean by that is every way that I interacted with him as a fan was clouded by the controversy more so than anything. The losing streak, Spoelstra on the hot seat, off-the-court questions, a stretch where he completely lacked a clutch bone in his body, etc. You combine that with Derrick Rose's emergence as an MVP and a general disconnect with the NBA due to the Cavs' pathetic state, and it was just easier to live on separate planets from LeBron.

I'm still a basketball fan, but even the NBA has attributed to my distance from LeBron. I remember when I was a kid, I would watch playoff games like Suns-Rockets live in primetime on a weekday night. NBC basically said that Hakeem Olajuwon mattered more than their nightly line-up or the NBC Mystery Movie. It's how I became a NBA fan. Now, I still have no cable, and no access other than Internet articles to get my knowledge. The NBA and its networks have made the sport less appealing to the masses and less of a draw by not making it a part of a night like it used to be. If this were 1993, LeBron would be on multiple times a week to a lot more people's homes.

At this point, I think the Heat will win the NBA title, and I think they have everything in place to accomplish their ridiculous claims of 8 or 9 championships (well, maybe not that high but they have multiple rings in their future). Part of this is based off basketball knowledge and part is based off expectations that I have to feel more pain as a Cleveland fan. The Lakers and Celtics showed signs of age, a need for roster and/or transitional changes. The Heat could see competition from the emerging Oklahoma City Thunder. It's also possible that the other merger could come into play in New York with the arrival of Chris Paul or even Dwight Howard, so we could re-live the great Heat-Knicks rivalry of the 1990s but now in a more fraudulent, nice pick-up game among friends kind of way. It's just a time where the guys with major talent like LeBron have come into their own and are at their peak, and hey, they all happen to be on these same couple teams. Maybe it's no different than what it has been in the past, but it just feels worse.

At this point now, my hope is to just appreciate the NBA and LeBron as much as I can because I love basketball. But, like my earlier post following the Jim Tressel incident, it's a sport that's managed to bungle up all that it had going for it with dynamic athletes that could make the game exciting and has left me on the sidelines. Obviously, I'll still care otherwise why would I write this blog post? But, it's hard to look at someone who was once your guy, and really enjoy a great play that he makes. That's part LeBron's fault for the way he broke things off but part the NBA's fault for not maximizing on putting the great plays out there in the way the fans would want it. Oh well. I can still remember a moment like this one, where I lost my mind in excitement.

A Second Chance at Brent Smith

Shinedown lead singer Brent Smith first graced a Columbus stage without his band at "Monday Night Live." He returned to my one-man show last week to address an issue that he has with Fuel frontman Brett Scallions. He also shared an intimate moment with the crowd when he led them in what he calls, "Shinedown Prayer."

William Shake$hapeare!

At my show last Thursday, I had the opportunity to bring back a character that people seemed to love when he/she first appeared at "Monday Night Live," William Shake$hapeare. If you're a theatrical nerd and a pop music lover, you should particularly enjoy this.

Everybody Was Karaoking

I went to my friend's birthday party last night at a bar that had karaoke. It was a bar clearly filled with regulars who loved their Saturday night karaoke. Everyone who participated was talented and showed a passion and enjoyment for karaoke including a guy who clearly lived for these five minutes out of his week as he belted and gyrated to Guns N' Roses's "Welcome to the Jungle." So, in the midst of people with great voices singing various rock and country hits, what did I do? I went up on stage and sang/spoke Carl Douglas's "Kung Fu Fighting." It was acceptable, and for one night, I knew what it felt to be that random dude who shows up at open mic comedy, does his five minutes of stage time, and then none of us in the comedy community ever see him again (which, in most cases, is a good thing). Over the course of the night, I generated a few rules that I feel should be implemented in karaoke nights, which I have the right to tell being such a master of karaoke.

1. Musical breaks need to be cut down in songs.

I don't understand why these breaks occur during karaoke songs. I understand you're sticking to the authenticity of the song, but we're here for the singing, not for (at best) someone prancing around to a synthesized version of the real musical break.

2. No one should pick a song over 5 minutes.

Respect the show. Last night, it seemed like every person was doing something over 5 minutes. There are people waiting. If you do less than 5 minutes, it gives them a chance to get up there, plus, hey, you can end up singing more songs under 5 minutes later in the show! This also works hand-in-hand with the cutting of musical break, which could single-handedly change every karaoke audience member's opinion of "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."

3. Follow the tone of the show.

I violated this rule last night, but like I said, I feel like it was acceptable being the random dude that showed up for one night, and no one in the crowd appeared to dislike me for it. The tone really was a lot of country and rock music, so for me to go up and do a disco hit was both odd/hilarious (that makes sense because it was me). Main point: I probably should have sang "The Gambler" -- at least they would have been happier with my sing/speak on that one.

4. If you want to dance, dance. It's awesome.

One of the best parts of this night was the crowd's willingness to take to the small dance floor in front of the stage. The actual dancing ability on that floor was terrible, but that's what made it great. Nobody cared about how they were judged. They were just having fun dancing to "Blue Suede Shoes" and that's the kind of magic that happen with a nice karaoke night.

So, those are the rules in my mind. There are probably more among the true karaoke followers. Later in the night, I was requested to sing Genesis's "Invisible Touch," which I gladly did and which may have further pushed Phil Collins into retirement. The night was stolen by the birthday boy himself, my friend Ryan, whose dancing and rendition of Eddy Grant's "Electric Avenue" was phenomenal. It sounded like The Cookie Monster doing his best to sing like Eddy Grant. You would think that was an insult. It is not. The performance was just plain brilliant.