Sanjay A. Yelp Review: The Treehouse

Sanjay A. is BACK! Here's his Yelp! review of The Treehouse in Cleveland, Ohio. Make sure you don't confuse it with the one that was in Columbus. Or should you?

The Dark Knight Rises, The Brown Comedian Falls...Asleep

It had been a long week for me. With my day job and comedy, my sleeping patterns have always been suspect. But, nothing was going to stop me from seeing The Dark Knight Rises this weekend. My buddy from Cleveland was coming into town, so a group of us made a plan to watch the 10:40 PM showing on Friday night.

Since I don't see these friends as often, we went all out at happy hour. There were beverages and half-price appetizers galore. I was filled up to a disgusting level for the movie. There would be no need for me to feel hungry during the show.

However, knowing full well  I hadn't gotten a great night of sleep throughout the week and now I had plenty of food in me, the possibility of me dozing off was high. I also had a history of this type of thing occurring. On a similar night, I fell asleep during a 10 PM showing of The Expendables. I briefly dozed off during an afternoon show of The Avengers (by the way, 3-D glasses really help cover up the embarrassment of taking a nap during a movie you paid a lot of money to see). Simply put, a food coma and a dark movie theater do not mix well for me.

Well aware of my track record, I decided that, given the circumstances, I needed a 5-Hour Energy. I took down the 5-Hour Energy. As I would soon find out, 5-Hour Energy has no effect on my body in this circumstance.

We arrived at 10:10 to find the line leading into the theater where the 10:40 showing was going on was quite long. While we may have bought advanced tickets, we did not buy advanced line placement. We managed to get seats together in the third row. As a result, I knew this might not go well. I have a ton of food and drink in my system, and now I have to crane my neck to look at a giant IMAX screen for three hours? This is going to get uncomfortable.

I fell asleep during the previews. I don't know a single trailer that happened nor any other advertisements. However, it was perfect timing. As the movie began, I woke up and was alert. I thought to myself that I got the nap that I needed out of the way and that I could make it through the long haul of the movie.

It was going well for a while. I was enjoying the movie and was focused on it, but then it started to turn. At some point, Catwoman was talking, and I dozed off, and had a dream that involved eating tater tots (one of the appetizers that I did eat earlier in the night). So, essentially, portions of The Dark Knight Rises became Inception for me.

I don't know how long I was asleep for, but I woke up in time for the major portion of the film and the parts that counted that led to the ending.

I left the theater with a bit of neck pain and a complete desire to go directly to bed. I also think I have to put a ban on myself of not seeing any movie after 10 PM. I just cannot be trusted to be alert.

Also, as a result, I'm going to have to watch The Dark Knight Rises again. I'll likely do a matinee a month from now. I'll also be making sure the matinee is not after a major meal. 

                     I fell asleep at a Halloween party at 9:30 PM. I'm awesome.

The Color Run

I planned on running this morning with a friend of mine at 9 AM. I woke up as I had planned at 8 AM, but I could hear a bunch of loud music outside. What was happening? Then, I realized it: “The Color Run” was today!

I had been interested in doing “The Color Run” but it was one of those things that fell through the cracks. I talked about it with friends but then no one followed up on it, and then all of a sudden, registration for the event was sold out.

Hearing the music so close to my apartment, in my daze to wake up, I pulled up “The Color Run” website on my phone to see the race route. I wanted to make sure I'd be able to get out on to the streets to meet my friend for our run. As it turned out, the race was running right in front of my apartment and my street was a part where color would be thrown on to runners.

I quickly got ready for my own run and postponed it until 10 AM so that I could watch runners get hit with colors. It was pretty hilarious. Some of the volunteers throwing colors were nailing people in the face pretty well. Someone brought a baby in a stroller. The baby wasn't having it. He started crying mostly because he got hit in the face with color at some point.

When I came out of my apartment, I talked to one of the volunteers outside. Seeing that I had emerged from my apartment, he told me my car would be fine. I told him I didn't care. My car was in the lot. I didn't expect it to get hit with colors. However, there was a BMW on the street, and despite this volunteer's claim, it got hit with plenty of orange on its black exterior. The funny part was the ton of people who ran by it either feeling bad for the car, pointing it out, taking pictures of it, or writing stuff on it. As of right now, trucks have cleaned off the streets and even gave a free car wash to the BMW, so I think all is okay for the owner of that car (Why shouldn't it be? He/she owns a BMW!)

Since I was preparing to go on a run, I was in running clothes while I stood outside. I must have looked like a dick. I was wearing my 2009 Capital City Half Marathon shirt. It almost seemed like I was bragging. “Oh, you're running a 5K with colors? I run half marathons, and I've been doing it since 2009. Look at me!” Also, it's kind of odd when you and two random photographers are the only people observing the runners. I didn't know what to do, but stand and smile. It's not as if I could cheer them on. It's not like they're really concerned about their times or goals. They are running a race where they are getting covered in colors. Some of them are running backwards or in circles. At most, I could just dance or jump around, but it's 9 AM and I'm by myself. I'm trying to avoid looking insane and weird.

Despite the fact that I just stood there lurking, people were really excited and approachable. As they saw I was just a random guy, I was asked by six different people to take a photograph of their group of runners. Some of these cameras/smartphones were just caked in the colors of “The Color Run.” The funniest was when I came back out of my apartment and a group were standing outside and asked me to take a photo. I took it, and then one of the women asked if I wanted some color for my shirt. I said, “Sure,” we hugged, and now I was going for a run looking like I had already been in “The Color Run.”

The mist of the colors wafted in the air. As a result, even in my walk over to meet my friend for our run, my running shoes became covered in colors. As is our tradition, my friend and I do a run and then head to breakfast. The host said to me, “We've had a lot of people look like you come in today.” I laughed then wished I said, “What? Indian people?” What a racist host. Then again, she was actually saying I looked like tons of people who had many colors on themselves. What a diverse host!

As we paid for our breakfast and left, another employee asked if I ran “The Color Run” since I still had colors on me (though it looked more like I sweat orange at this point), and I explained to her that we ran separately yet I still got hit by colors, which had to only be confusing. I wasn't about to lie about “The Color Run” and my participation. But, judging by how fun it looked today, I see a color run definitely in my future.

Now, for no other reason than frequent use of the word color reminding me of it, here's the opening theme to In Living Color!

Comedifans Post-Game - Episode 039

Melky Cabrera. Sumukh's favorite baseball player. He may even name his kid after him. That would be a good start; because out of all the names registered with the U.S. census, Melky is not one of them. Neither is Milky or Milk.

But neither is Sumukh. So maybe that's the root of the love.

However, Justin...#30 as of 2004! Justin Power!

My favorite song by a Justin:


My favorite wrestler named Justin: (I actually don't much care for him, but it's a short list.)

Comedifans - Episode 039

Sumukh and Golak sit down with each other to talk sports, "Original Recipe" style, with no guest. The two discuss Paterno and the future of Penn State football, college football, feelings towards boxing, Kahn/Garcia, the NBA landscape, and the MLB All-Star game.

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Comedifans Post-Game - Episode 038

So, I was wrong when I called the nameless woman from Ricky Martin's hit song "Livin' La Vida Loca" a whore. I looked at the lyrics more closely, and I was wrong. However, the lyrics do pin her as a pagan, possible sex offender, crook. Feel free to practice whichever religion you want, but I cannot condone ruffying a man for the purposes of, at minimum, theft. That is livin' la vida criminal! (Criminal is spelled the same in English and in Spanish. For maximum funny, read the work as "crim-een-al.")



My favorite song from the Latin Boom:


Muy triste! Who said Mickey Rourke's comeback started with The Wrestler?

My favorite song from the Indian Boom:

Comedifans - Episode 038

Sumukh and Golak sit down with guest Mike Kolar and the three talk Wimbledon, Serena Williams, naan bread, Ricky Martin, NBA trades and the 2013 season outlook, and the MLB All-Star Game.

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The Cover of My Comedy Album?

The best part about listening to music on Pandora Radio is that you get presented with the album cover that the song you are listening to is from. It has opened the door to me seeing the covers of many albums that I never knew about. Sure, there are plenty of sites that have listed the worst album covers, but I am more intrigued by random album covers that could end up being the model for the cover of my first comedy album whenever I first release it.

Here are the three that stood out to me from my Pandora listening yesterday:

Billy Ocean

I love Billy Ocean. This cover is for the single, “Caribbean Queen,” which is a great song. Imagine me pondering with a giant ring on my finger. Frankly, this is exactly how I look whenever I write a new joke.

Leo Sayer

There's something magical about Leo Sayer. It's probably the white man afro (I'd say "Jew fro" but I have no idea if Sayer is Jewish). But, he also has such an alarming voice as evidenced when I had the pleasure to hear “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing” while at sitting at my cubicle and this album cover appeared. Frankly, I did feel like dancing. I also feel like putting on an afro and these clothes and have this be a comedy album cover.

Carl Carlton

This is the best. I love Carl Carlton. I love this album cover. I love the amount of colors. I love the mid-dance movement. I love the clothes. This was the very best of Carl Carlton. There's no reason that it can't be the very best of Sumukh Torgalkar.

So, take a listen to Carl and, hell, even the album cover on this video is awesome:

Comedifans - Episode 037

Sumukh and Golak give you 2 guests for the price of 1 this week! Part 1 has the guys talking with former guest Travis Irvine. The three talk Crew soccer, roadtrips, and Euro 2012. For Part 2, Sumukh hits the road and meets up with our first ever call-in guest, Nirish Doshi. The two talk NBA and MLB.

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Thank You, Canada!

Yesterday was Canada Day. I was out of town and didn't realize it was Canada Day until 10 PM. So, of course, I reacted to Canada Day like any American would, which was to listen to random late 90s/early 2000s pop music by Canadian acts.

Strangely, I am well versed in this period of music because our cable service at the time provided MuchMusic, Canada's version of MTV. What made MuchMusic great was that they played music videos regularly at a time when MTV had already phased out doing that. As a result, I spent most of my time watching new music on MuchMusic, which allowed me to be exposed regularly to American pop music but also granted me the knowledge of what was big in Canada that was homegrown.

Here are some of the music videos I watched to celebrate Canada Day:

The Moffatts – “Bang Bang Boom”

The Moffatts were the Canadian boy band of the time period even if they didn't exactly want to be a boy band. The group comprised of four brothers was huge in Canada, but unlike other boy bands, they wrote and played their own music. Ultimately, a desire to get away from being a boy band and a difficult relationship with their father as manager led to their break-up.

soulDecision - “Faded”

soulDecision had a good little run in this period of time with this song and “Ooh It's Kind of Crazy.”

Prozzak - “Sucks to Be You”

Here's where Canada could get a little weird. Two DJs put together songs. Rather than be themselves, they were Simon and Milo, two cartoon characters who appeared in all the music videos. I'm not sure how their live shows went, but this happened. It was catchy.

B4-4 - “Get Down”

This easily takes the cake. Canada should be embarrassed. During the height of the boy band era, these guys popped up. To begin with, you kind of automatically want to punch these guys in the fact. Then, throw in a song that's trying to be subtle about oral sex but isn't subtle at all, a bizarre video whose plot isn't clear and involves apparently the dreams of a young child entering a beach world so that he can accomplish strength, chicks, and basketball skills while being surrounded by a tanned up boy band. Whatever. Just enjoy, and start shouting, “OVER TO MY HOUSE!” whenever you get the chance. Side fact: this is comedian Laura Sanders's favorite music video. Please let her know you watched it, too.